


Papa Surfs

by junuve



Series: We Foolish Vessels [4]
Category: Nier Gestalt | Nier, Nier Gestalt | Nier Replicant | Nier (Video Games)
Genre: (there actually isnt surfing i lied), Domestic Fluff, Gen, Humor, Platonic Relationships, Surfboard Carnage, facade sidequest shenanigans!, party banter time!, there is SURFING, yonah gets to play a game with her dad and her other dad that is a book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22570372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junuve/pseuds/junuve
Summary: Nier has a GREAT idea on how to get from point A to B in the deserts. Video game physics DO apply.(Or, essentially what happens when you give Nier the sand-boarding mechanics from Automata/other games and a big surfboard. Takes place during the first half of the game.)
Relationships: Grimoire Weiss & Nier, Grimoire Weiss & Yonah, Kainé & Nier (Nier), Nier & Yonah (Nier)
Series: We Foolish Vessels [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543177
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	Papa Surfs

Nier knocked off some of the wolf-fur clumps from his shielding and grimaced as sand filtered down through his pants.

“Hey, do you mind giving me a hand with—” he asked Weiss, but the tome wasn’t present at his side.

Nier staggered around, looking high and low for the Grimoire. He heard an enormous cough and turned to the source. Weiss was busy expelling an enormous amount of sand into a nearby gutter. He gave himself a few shakes, making sure all the sand was out of his ‘realm of holding’ before righting himself. Nier could’ve sworn he saw some rocks and fur jettison from the book too, perhaps even a wolf’s leg…

Nier’s face scrunched.

The nearby sand-skiff attendant’s round mask tracked Weiss’ motions carefully, clutching a staff to his chest. He edged away from the book as he floated by. Weiss muttered something incomprehensible to the man as he returned to Nier’s side. Maybe an apology, probably a warning.

“So that’s what you mean by sand in your mouth,” Nier thought aloud.

Weiss’ grumped, “what else could I possibly mean?!”

Nier shrugged, more sand falling out of crevices in his getup.

“Here.” Nier motioned to the stack of hastily harvested wolf pelts. “Help me get these over to the Strange-Things store.”

Weiss took a moment to whine before helping. “I cannot believe you are helping that disgusting creature. I was under the impression you hated those with proclivities to infidelity.”

“I do. But I can help out…” Nier hefted the lion’s share of the load onto a shoulder. “…when there’s _money_.”

Nier winked at Weiss.

The book didn’t even try to hide his disgust. “Does anyone have standards anymore!?”

“Quit griping and grab those.” Nier ignored any protests and began the trek up and down the multitudes of criss-crossing stairways leading to the Strange-Things store.

Between the steps and the dunes, his legs were spent, and he was starting to make weird noises like an old door in need of oil. He wasn’t sure if that was his body creaking or his subconscious winces.

Weiss floated with ease, and by the second set of stairs, had had to stop Nier from tumbling headlong about four times. With great annoyance, the book transferred more of the furs off Nier’s shoulders via levitation until he had the majority of them.

“Thanks.”

All Nier got in return was a disdainful muttering about how he was incorrigible, whatever that meant.

The two managed to finally snake over to the Strange-Things store, furs mostly unscathed.

The shopkeeper was nervously corralling a variety of colorful glass marbles when Nier smashed the counter with a pile of wolf pelts. The marbles shot out in every direction and the man let out a strangled yelp, disappearing from view.

He clambered up to his feet.

(“Oh, it’s—”)

Then Weiss smashed his own pile onto the counter, sending the remaining marbles into another tizzy and the man back from where he came.

“I got your ten wolf hides. You got the money?” Nier announced, intimidating without even intending.

The shopkeeper’s mask rose above the counter again as he struggled to right himself.

He began tepidly speaking, (“…I can't believe you'd help a scumbag like me…”)

Nier shrugged.

Weiss alighted onto the counter-top beside him. The two of them stared at the shopkeeper as if they were vultures.

The man shifted uncomfortably, his outfit tinkling. A few more marbles dribbled off the counter-top.

(“Anyway, thanks… Here's your reward.”) He turned around, shuffling around his register in the back of the shop alcove. He muttered apologies as he clanked about, looking for wherever he’d put the bag of coin. Several oddly shaped signs fell over, and a pile of sticks with matching bends collapsed on the man.

Nier had a feeling this would take a minute, so he waited, leaning into the counter. He scratched at some sand-induced irritation underneath one of his straps, just now noticing the marbles scattered around the counter.

Weiss batted at one of the glass orbs with his cover, curiously watching it roll down the length of the counter-planks and collide with the others. He twisted around, observing each rolling ball, rapt.

Nier shook his head. Weiss was totally lost to him, too busy with the shiny things.

He poked at the Grimoire, “Weiss, I wanna’ talk to him. Stop playing.”

Weiss huffed, offering part of his attention to translating.

Nier asked the man out of pure curiosity, "do you think your wife will like the gift?"

The shopkeep turned back, shrugging his draperies. (“I don't know.”) His mask tipped forward as he bowed his head. (“Whenever I approach, she starts throwing things at me.”)

"That's going to make it tough to give her the present,” Nier remarked.

Weiss stopped corralling the marbles long enough to glare at Nier.

He mouthed _‘what’_ at his companion, but before Weiss could respond, the masked man came forward, grovelling almost.

(“Could you…?”) he balked as Weiss turned on him. (“Listen,”) he implored Nier specifically, ignoring the Grimoire, (“I know how lame this is, but could you maybe go talk to her for me? She's on the floor just above us.”)

Weiss translated that with no reservation of irritation, lifting off the table and looming over them.

“He wants _us_ to tell his wife?” Nier repeated to Weiss, and then mulled it over for a second, “I guess we could?”

Weiss harrumphed. “Why not!? We’ve interfered thus far!”

Nier turned to the man and nodded to him, and Weiss informed him properly that they would go speak with his wife. The shopkeeper took Nier by a hand and shook it dearly, his deepest commendations spilling out.

_What had Nier gotten himself into…?_

He nonetheless dutifully trudged up to the level above the shop, the process taking entirely too long thanks to Facade’s rule-bound designs.

Before long they spotted her, off to a corner in the green shawl as described, her back to them as she talked amongst a few other masked people. Nier approached and tapped her on the shoulder, bending down out of habit to make himself a little less intimidating.

She rounded on him, a brick brandished from the depths of her robes. The woman was ready to hurl it at a moment’s notice, but as she inspected Nier, her throwing posture loosened.

She inquired after him, speech harsh. Weiss didn’t translate, so it was probably pretty rude.

“Um… ma’am?” Nier began, “I’m here to talk to you about your husband.”

She was utterly silent.

Nier didn’t move an inch; pure instinct controlling him.

(“That son of a bitch!”) she said suddenly, (“I bet he sent you here with some pathetic apology gift, didn't he!?”)

Nier stumbled over his own words, "…that obvious, huh?"

(“Ha! That man's worthless. And those other women of his are just toying with him.”) She gestured wildly, brick still in a steel-clawed grip. (“Men are so stupid. They know they're going to get caught, but they try to sneak around and get something on the side anyway.”)

Nier nodded, a little too animatedly, perhaps, as he edged away from the woman with the brick.

(“He shouldn't have gotten you involved. He'll be hearing from me about this. I promise you!”)

“Yeah… I’m sure,” Nier agreed.

The woman whipped around, saying something sharp to her cohorts, and then she gave Nier and Weiss another once over before she stormed down the stairs, jangling _dangerously_.

Nier and Weiss watched her go, utterly stilled.

“The matrix by which humans select mates is wholly beyond me,” Weiss broke the silence.

“Yeah, I feel that too, sometimes,” Nier mumbled.

“Then how did you get married?!” Weiss was blunt yet completely genuine in his query.

Nier exhaled wistfully. “Miracles?” He shrugged.

Obviously that didn’t satisfy the Grimoire’s question, but he didn’t pry any further. He did actually wonder about what humans found appealing. Perhaps it truthfully was a question with no answer.

“Miracles…” Weiss grumbled, and then realized Nier was missing from his side.

He caught sight of the man gingerly peering down the staircase the woman had just descended.

Weiss fluttered over to him. “Are you insane?”

Nier turned back, voice pinched, “I haven’t got my money yet!”

“Oh no…” Weiss’ attitude turned right around. “Let us hurry. We might be picking coins out of entrails should we dawdle.”

Nier grimaced at that thought and re-traced the woman’s steps, stopping short of the Strange-Things store. The sounds emanating were… indescribable. He only dared wonder what they would’ve sounded like in his own tongue.

He tugged Weiss behind a convenient corner, peering out to watch the onslaught from the less conspicuous vantage.

(“Rule 3,554 states that you must accept my gift!”) the man pleaded.

She reared back. (“I don’t want your stupid wolf coat!”)

(“Y-you’ve always wanted a wolf coat… you hate wolves.”)

(“I do!”) his wife agreed on this one point, but countered, (“But this is not the point! The point is that you crossed rule 87,902!”)

The man threw up his hands. (“I didn’t even mean to touch their leg!”)

(“But you did, and then it went too far. Mostly because you are in violation of rule 1,209!”)

(“1,209 does not apply to drinking in the resting hours.”)

(“Because you are supposed to be RESTING DURING RESTING HOURS! THUS SAYS RULE 321!”)

There was a lull as the man took a moment to formulate a response, (“…not if I have trouble sleeping.”)

(“WHAT RULE IS THAT?!”)

(“Rule 6,000,000?”)

(“THERE IS NO RULE 6,000,000!”)

The woman leapt over the counter, lashing out to drag him down. He shrieked at such a display, scrambling backwards. A horrendous racket ensued as the shop was torn apart.

“She’s gonna kill him!” Nier yelled.

“We need our money.” Weiss turned to Nier. “Do something!”

“Me?!” Nier thought fast (and sloppily). “Uhhh…!”

He vaulted out, rolling to a stop between the man and woman.

The insults and shouting paused, taken aback by such a display of acrobatics.

(“…y-you…?”) The Shopkeeper stuttered in awe.

Weiss floated down between the woman and Nier, speaking to her in her own tongue, “according to rule 2,389 one cannot attack their husband but every once in a twelve hour period.”

The woman said something exasperatedly.

“What’d she say?” Nier prodded.

“She said I’m full of shit.”

The shopkeeper gestured to the two, explaining that they aided in acquiring the pelts.

(“Oh, it’s the money…”) she turned to her husband, voice chillingly calm, (“would you give these poor men their due?”)

The shopkeeper apologized very much, handing over an immense sum. Nier and Weiss’ eyes lit up at the staggering amount.

As the two stowed the money away securely, the shopkeeper watched his wife begin to comb through the wolf pelts, pacified as she petted the fur and remarked pleasantly at such quality.

(“I managed to patch things up… more or less,) the shopkeeper lied to them, (“anyway, thank you. I couldn’t have done it without your help.”)

“She’s a good woman,” Nier spoke with sobering intensity, “stop taking her for granted,”

(“Oh, I won't, I swear!”) the shopkeeper tried to convince Nier, (“I'm even going to stop going to the tavern!”) And then added quietly, (“…as much as I used to.”)

Nier crossed his arms.

(“Maybe just twice a week or so!”)

His wife snapped something, making him jump from his scheming. She set the wolf pelt she had been appraising back on the counter before coming over.

“Oh dear,” was all Weiss supplied Nier with.

“What?” Nier didn’t want any further trouble. “I got the money. Let’s go.”

“Hold…” Weiss shushed him.

The wife spoke to them pleasantly, and then patted her husband on the shoulder before turning away to put up the wolf pelts.

The shopkeeper watched her leave, and then turned to them with a sharp exhale. He spoke, muffled and robotic.

Nier’s brows were high.

“Ah, he’d like to offer us a free gift from his store!” Weiss struck up a bright tone, “how accommodating! Don’t you agree?”

Nier hadn’t really thought of buying anything at a Strange-Thing store. What would he do with anything this strange? But he reconsidered that thought as he watched his floating book scrutinize the shop’s ransacked marble display, barraging the shopkeeper with questions about them in the local tongue.

Nier decided to take a gander, thinking aloud, “maybe there’s something Yonah would like…”

He sniffed and scanned the setting, rocking on his feet, not sure exactly where to start. He stepped in closer, hulking over the displays. Unable to see much while looming above, he squatted in front of some bizarrely shaped devices to get a closer look, his slit eyes scrutinizing each one, sussing out their functions. After a good five minutes of sussing, he realized he still had absolutely no idea what he was looking at.

Weiss would know about the strange things, being a strange thing himself.

The book had just received all the marbles in the shop on the promise of ‘shutting up about them’, and was so very elated by his score of shiny things. He hummed and hovered up and down the wall’s display, tentatively tapping one of the plaques on the wall which responded with a hollow ding. The shopkeeper didn’t seem to appreciate that, but made no moves to incite their ire beyond a half-hearted sigh.

Weiss, oblivious, twirled around to face Nier. “Perhaps Miss Yonah would like an octagonal red sign that says STOP on it.”

Nier made a face at that offer and turned his gaze to the long tapered boards lining the shop’s wall. They were by far the most beguiling objects of the lot, so Nier capitalized on Weiss weakness’ for explaining.

He pointed at them. “What’re those?”

“Oh, these?” Weiss zipped forward and got a closer look. He orbited around the strange thing, finally eliciting a delighted noise as if he recalled something very clearly.

“Ah! This was used to ride waves. ‘Twas a form of sport activity for humans. They would balance atop it and let the board carry them down the wave and toward land.”

“That sounds silly,” Nier said.

“Indeed,” Weiss agreed, “however, the actual act is strangely alluring.”

Nier’s face scrunched. “ _Alluring?_ ”

“Well, yes!” Weiss defended. “It took impeccable skill and athleticism.”

Nier gave the book a sidelong look. “Uh-huh...”

This information, of course, gave Nier an idea.

“So, what is it called?” he asked.

“I’m not sure. A water-glider, perhaps.”

“Well, let’s get it.” Nier was sold, somehow.

“You’re sure? You don’t really strike me as someone who has time for such a hobby… and you don’t care much for Seafront…” Then again they had just spent the day killing droves of wolves, and there was the gardening, and the fishing…

Weiss was suddenly struck by a clear vision of Nier in the guise of a ‘water-glider’ aficionado. Sun-kissed skin, sea-breeze tousled hair, nary a garment to conceal his musculature save a pair of stylish shorts… very short shorts…

Nier waved a hand in front of the book. “Hey, Weiss…?”

Weiss started, “oh! Right.”

He whipped around and relayed Nier’s wish to purchase the long, flat, striped… thing. The seller was overjoyed to part with one. When Nier hefted the board up, a silhouette was left behind where it had shaded the adobe for years.

“Great, so now what are we going to do? Have you haul that around the desert as we are assaulted by wolves?” Weiss inquired.

“Nah. I got a plan,” Nier spoke with confidence, “one that’ll get us back home to Yonah quick.”

“Oh dear.” Weiss had a feeling he knew where this was going.

Nier parted with a thanks to the shopkeeper and his wife, and tracked up the stairs toward the gates of the city, carefully balancing his prize.

Kainé was in her usual nook, sour-faced but attentive. That changed when she saw Nier striding up to her with some kind of _flat thing_ hoisted over his head.

“What the hell did you get?” she asked gruffly to bely any curiosity.

“A water-glider,” Nier replied.

“A _what_ …?”

“Weiss told me I could use it to glide down the dunes out there.”

“I said no such thing!” The book jostled himself in the air.

“You’re going to use that flimsy piece of shit to ride down those huge sand dunes?” She cracked a grin. “I gotta see this.”

Nier’s spirit wasn’t hampered one bit by their doubts. He marched out that gate and into the dunes beyond Facade, searching for the perfect launching point.

They tracked to and fro, approaching dunes of grander and grander height. As the dunes rose in size, Weiss shuffled more and more protective and regenerative magics to the front of his text block.

When Nier had to crane his neck up, he knew he’d found the right one.

Slowly, the three snaked up the side of it, taking care to not tumble down and erase their progress. Nier had to have assistance from Kainé and Weiss as the board played the part of sail, catching each bout of wind rolling up the sands.

Finally, the trio crested the dune. Nier gazed out to the wide, winding desert encompassing, the long water-glider object tucked under his arm securely.

“This is the best idea we’ve _ever_ had,” Nier remarked.

“This is the WORST idea YOU have ever had,” Weiss corrected sharply.

“Get going!” Kainé called over the wind.

Nier crept to the edge gingerly, disturbing the sands at the pinnacle. He watched them shimmer down the side and out of site, destined for the valley below.

Maybe Weiss was right. Maybe this _wasn’t_ a great idea…

But if this worked how he wanted it, getting across this damn desert would be easy. Or at least easier…

And the quicker he got through the desert, the quicker he got home…

…to _Yonah._

With a grunt he hefted the board flat and laid it down, teetering until it angled subtly toward the base of the dune. The man then stood atop it, and shifted forward.

He stood there a full minute.

He looked down at it, and then shifted again.

Weiss and Kainé exchanged a glance.

“Nothing’s happening,” Nier told them.

“There is far too much friction in the sand, I’m afraid,” Weiss droned.

“Friction?” Kainé commented, “this stuff’s slippery as shit.”

“Why must you compare everything to shit?” Weiss moaned.

Kainé skewed her lips. “Don’t like that? Tough shit.”

“It is quite alright by me if you so wish to stunt your mind with a crippled vocabulary, hussy!”

“Wow. You sure do talk a lot of shit,” Kainé paused, smirking, “shithead.”

Weiss exploded, “I don’t even have a head!”

“So that’s why you’re dumb,” she poked, and added, “as _shit_.”

His pages were _rattled_.

Nier shifted his weight around as the two bickered. He rocked from nose to tail of the board, trying to get it to go.

This wasn’t going to work was it?

But as he shifted around, he realized there was a bit of rock caught up on the underside. He crouched down and wiggled it free. But as soon as it dislodged, the board lurched. He yelped in surprise and instinctively clutched the sides like an ape.

He tried to call for help, but only got a mouthful of grit as he kept gaining speed, sand billowing past him.

A sharp hiss of sand and surprised ‘CRAP’ caught Kainé and Weiss’ attentions.

They stopped hurling accusations, eyes glued to Nier as he sped away. In silence they witnessed the man streak down to the base of the dune… and then widened their eyes as he _kept going_ up the next dune, cresting it with a faraway scream, and then disappeared over the far edge.

“Fuck!” Kainé staggered onto her tip-toes in a vain attempt to see where he’d gone. “That was fast.”

Weiss tilted, sighing in contempt. “How wonderful. Now we must give chase and seek him out.”

Kainé grunted to agree, already descending after Nier. “If any goddamn wolves come after us he’s a dead man.”

They crested the neighboring dune and saw no trace of Nier, but the path led ever on to the next.

However, as they made it to the zenith of the second dune, the winds had eroded the wake of the board, and they lost his trail.

For all intents and purposes it appeared as if Nier had simply taken to the skies at the top of the second incline.

Kainé hooded her eyes with a hand and scanned the horizon once more.

A sinister voice eked into her mind.

“ _Wonder if that ‘voodoo’ link the old guy says he got with Shitoire Weiss would help?”_ Tyrann, for once, was being helpful.

It was worth a shot.

“Weiss, can you, I don’t know, _sense_ how far he is?” she asked.

“Sense?” he sounded shocked, “do you believe me to be psychic?”

Kainé threw her arms up. “I don’t know! You eat blood.”

“And this makes one a psychic?” his question sounded honest, and that somehow incensed her more.

 _Of course_ he was going to be useless.

“Why don’t you float up and look for him?” she suggested.

He protested, “it’s WINDY up there.”

“And?!”

“I might get blown away!”

“Oh, for God’s sake…” She felt her muscles tense with the desire to lessen his page count. “You’re a magic FLYING book!”

“ _Grimoire!_ ” Weiss fluttered at her for effect.

Kainé’s voice was low and dangerous, “if you don’t float up and look for him, _I will dropkick you into the sun_.”

The book drew back, scowling at her. He grumbled at that remark but nevertheless gave into the demand, ascending to a reasonable height with ease. He spun around in the air, taking stock of the sands encompassing. It wasn’t long before he spoke up.

“Ah, I see him! I do believe,” there was a tinge of doubt, “it’s either him or a very unseemly rock.”

“Let’s go then, gramps,” Kainé called up.

“Oh, shut up. I’m moving!” He assumed a more comfortable height, above swatting range of Kainé, and led the charge.

After a good jog along the crest of a ridge, they mounted another dune, surveying the cloud dappled sands around.

Nier was standing far away on a peak across from them. He had his eyes hooded with a hand, scouting for them in turn.

Nier spotted the two and got back onto his board. He sailed down the dune before them with exceptional grace for a large man on a glider. Expecting him to rush past they were surprised to see him take a sword out and use it to stop the board, stabbing into the sands.

He whipped around to halt, hair obscuring his eyes, but not his huge grin.

Nier’s beaming was near unbearable.

“Uh, nice…?” Kainé said in response.

“Thanks!” he sounded so pleased.

Weiss snorted derisively.

Kainé was expecting catastrophic failure. The fact this had somehow WORKED was shocking. Of course, if anyone could pull off a jackass plan like this it’d be Nier.

“Isn’t that gonna ruin your sword?” She pointed at the blade wedged in the sand like a crude brake.

“Eh.” He gave the curved kris-looking blade a discerning squint. “This one’s crap anyway.”

“I can’t believe you were successful,” Weiss groaned, “of all the inane ideas…”

“It was great!” Nier stood up, picking up the board lest it sail off on its own. “Only problem is I could hardly control the damn thing.”

“That is unfortunate,” Weiss said. “I think we’ve learned that you should never do this again.”

“What? Are you worried about me, Weiss?” Nier poked at the book, who recoiled before turning away curtly.

Nier shook his head, still giddy from the adrenaline. “You know, as I was moving I had a thought about how to control it.” Nier looked at Weiss, the cogs turning. “It could kinda be like steering a boat.”

Kainé could see Weiss sag in the air.

“And how do you propose to accomplish this?” the book drawled, knowing the answer full well.

Nier held up a finger. “Magic.”

“NO.”

Kainé sighed and crouched down, almost gargoyle-like as she waited for the two to bicker around long enough so that Weiss would cave.

“Weren’t you complaining today about the sun melting your binding?” Nier mentioned.

Weiss glared. “…I make many complaints. Your point?”

“If we can control this water-glider-thingy then traveling the desert will be easy!” Nier tried to be charming, or something. It was a little off-putting watching the dirt-streaked, muscle-bound man beckon the book as if he were a wayward cat. “C’mon! This could really work.”

“And just how am I supposed to make it work, exactly?” Weiss inquired.

“Well, we need something flat and broad. Oh! Just take one of your dark fists and lay the hand out flat behind the board.” Nier gestured to get the point across. “Angle it to change our direction.”

“You want me to use an arcane conjured hand powered by the blood of our foes… as a RUDDER?!”

“Yeah…?”

Weiss turned to Kainé for some consolation.

“Have fun, asshole.”

The _Schadenfreude_ was strong.

“This is RIDICULOUS,” the book spouted off, “I am a Grimoire! Not some… SHIP STEERING MECHANISM.”

“I think you’re going to have fun. We can ride together,” Nier sat down on the board’s deck and patted the spot beside him.

Weiss moaned as Kainé mouthed an ‘ _awww_ ’.

“Alright. But how am I supposed to stay ON it?”

Nier gave that a second’s thought. “I’ll hold you.”

“You can’t just HOLD a Grimoire,” Weiss reached.

“Why not? You make me carry you all the time.”

“In an apparatus specifically designed to hold me.”

“Yeah,” Nier didn’t sound amused, “the _book bag_.”

Kainé snorted.

“Alright, alright!” Weiss conceded this point, but brought up another matter, “but see here: I’m not actively casting destructive spells when I’m in the book bag.”

“What if I strapped you to my back?” Nier offered.

“How does that solve the problem _at all_?”

“Like a baby pouch?” Kainé interjected.

“I was thinking more backpack, but kinda yeah…?” Nier was hesitant, “I used to carry Yonah around like th—”

Weiss exploded, “I WILL NOT BE HELD IN A BABY POUCH!”

“This is fuckin’ _stupid,_ ” Kainé grumbled.

“Yeah. Weiss you’re just going to have to float with it,” Nier solved the non-issue.

“What if I don’t want to?”

Nier rolled his eyes. “Alright, fine. You win.”

Weiss watched the man point the glider toward the western ranges in the distance.

“I’m just gonna aim for home and hope for the best,” Nier spoke, feigning indifference to the Grimoire.

“I—you—but—!”

Nier leaned on the glider, and began to lurch forward again. He was just _that_ committed to this pitiful gambit.

Kainé wanted to tear her hair out.

Tyrann piped up, amused by the discomfort, _“this is what ya get for taggin’ along with these losers.”_

She readied a retort, but movement from the idiot corner distracted her.

Weiss reached out and tipped up the nose of the board just before it could gain speed, and Nier glanced over his shoulder apathetically.

“You’re so… ugh! You’re so _stubborn_!” Weiss said as he came beside Nier.

“Uh-huh,” Nier responded.

“Now…” Weiss tested several dark tendrils around the board, feeling out the best solution. “How on earth do I control this thi—”

“Hey, Grimoire Wuss.”

“What did you just—?!”

Kainé kicked the board, sending the two of them howling down into the pits below.

She watched them, casually amused as they sailed down the drop, spinning and screeching.

Kainé nodded, smirk replaced by a grimace as the two flipped.

A cloud of dust and dark angrily boiling red magic enveloped them and the board. The cloud fulminated at the base of the sand dune, and Kainé wondered if it was less a magic cloud and more of an _explosion_ cloud.

“ _Holy fuck! Did you kill ‘em!? Oh, please tell me you killed ‘em!”_ Tyrann’s voice gushed in her head.

She squinted at the churning depths, and then—like a breaching whale—the striped board burst out of the clouds, planing through the sand. A dark red ribbon unfurled behind it, and whorls of bloody energy lashed off the sides.

The dot of a board shot across the neighboring dune’s side, curling around. Kainé could hear the faint screech of Nier as he clung to the glider like a frightened animal.

“Damn…” Kainé muttered, a little in awe of how it could go even faster, and how Nier could even hold on.

The glider turned sharply, sand spraying, and dipped into the lull between the dunes, racing back up… coming directly for her.

“HEY!” she yelled at Weiss, “YOU BETTER NOT, YOU LITTLE BITC—”

Before she could finish that choice insult, the board sliced through the air beside her, an onslaught of sand in its wake. A mad cackle could be heard, but was mostly masked by Nier screaming as the board leapt through the sky.

Kainé braced herself, staggering backwards from the sheer force of wind. Tyrann guffawed within her, tickled to death by the ‘attempt’ on her life.

Weiss swirled the board around, coming up behind her.

Kainé turned, face wrinkled. “What the actual _fuck_ , Weiss?”

The book gave her a most mischievous chuckle. “Be glad I missed.”

“ _Awww, he likes you!”_ Tyrann teased.

Nier looked like he’d puked. He crept off the board shakily, coughing up sand. His eyes were still wide, now bloodshot from irritation.

“I-I’m _alive?_ ” he panted.

“Of course you are!” Weiss spoke, completely unaffected.

Kainé gave the board a once-over, checking for vomit trails, and then told Nier, “alright, move over.”

“What?” Weiss’ snapped out of his gleeful mood. “You want on our vessel? Aren’t you too good for it?”

“I was just waiting until you got the kinks worked out,” Kainé explained, straddling the board’s deck before finding a comfortable position.

“Worked out…? You really think so?” Nier rasped, hesitant to get back on. He had eaten SO much sand. “I thought I was a goner.”

Kainé shrugged. “It’s good enough.”

Nier squinted at her, and after sparing a moment to beat down the intuition he would probably die, he hobbled back onto the front of the board, trying to hold on to something.

“Let’s go, gramps.” Kainé snapped her fingers at Weiss.

The Grimoire muttered, but after receiving a grieved face from Nier, decided to not buck her.

“Any day no—”

Nier braced himself, but it was no use. They shot off the dune, flying a few feet before bottoming out. Propelled by Weiss’ magic, the board had a prow of red formed to the shape of a wicked cone, piercing the sand like a dark spear.

Gravity took care of what Weiss wasn’t gunning. The wind howled in their ears as they barreled down.

Kainé’s lips curled into a mad smile—exhilaration from the thrill of acceleration.

Her blood rushed as they rocketed up the next dune and burst through some smaller mounds of sand.

She felt light-headed.

She felt ALIVE.

They began to slow down, and Kainé came down a little, glancing over her shoulders to see what was up.

“I think Nier is…” Weiss spoke up.

Nier was white-knuckling the board, dazed.

“Are you alright?” Weiss hovered forward, dipping down to Nier’s eye level as he practically laid down on the board.

“…totally fine,” the man said through grit teeth.

Weiss gave him a disbelieving hum. “You know, we can stop if you like…”

As the book fussed over Nier, Kainé itched to get moving again. Her blood was pounding in her ears, almost overcoming the howling of wind i—wait a second. The wind didn’t feel strong, yet it kept howling.

She whipped around.

“Dammit!” Kainé shouted, “wolves!”

A dozen or so of the creatures streamed down the sands, their ravenous mouths making their presence known through their howling.

“Oh dear,” Weiss muttered, shooting back to his position at the tail of the board, “chin up, Nier. We’ve wolves en route.”

“Could you maybe not go so fas—”

Nier got another mouthful of sand as Weiss floored the board, tipping them over the edge of the rise and down the dune, speeding out of range of the predators.

“Never to worry. We are faster yet than—” Weiss’ words died on the wind.

As they angled down they saw a dozen more dark dots dapple the valley below. The creatures’ heads turned and they clamored with snapping fangs, racing up to greet them from all sides.

“How many wolves are there!?” Weiss complained, trying to find a way to navigate around them.

…but Kainé had a better idea.

“ _Oh, that’s PERFECT, Sunshine!”_

“Let me take point!” she shouted, clambering over Nier.

“Wait a minu-” Nier got to experience a whole lot more of Kainé than he ever thought he would.

“SIT DOWN!” Weiss shrieked.

Kainé did sit. She sat right up front.

She pulled her swords out. “Aim for the wolves, dumbass!”

“Are you going to—” Nier stopped trying to speak, more sand flying into his mouth.

The wolves began to slow down as the _object_ came into range. Panic spread, and the howls turned to whimpers as they got an eyeful of a maddened woman, swords out, thrust forward by clots of bloody dark magic.

…on a surfboard, no less.

The board shot by, and as the blades of a chariot, Kainé laid into the wolves, clipping their legs.

Nier, red-eyed and on the verge of puking again, was gripped by a mania. He pitched in, pulling his blade from it’s sheath.

“I got the left, you get the right,” he yelled into Kainé’s ear to be heard of the bluster of wind and crying of the wolves.

Weiss banked the board into the swathes, the blood that flowed from the fallen streaming after him in tenebrous streaks. The party was effectively a smear across the desert, gore and destruction in their wake.

Their sand-glider had turned war-chariot.

“ _Have I ever told you what I love about you, Kainé?!”_ Tyrann was overflowing with glee, feeding off her own excitement. _“You really know how to PARTY!”_

After another pass on the wolves and felling a handful more with one swoop, Kainé crowed.

The board jolted and stopped the celebration short.

Nier tensed, so dearly not wanting to flip again. “What was that?!”

“A scorpion! _Formerly_!” Weiss informed with manic glee.

“HELL YEAH!” Kainé cheered, “SCREW SCORPS!”

Nier’s sword sliced and Kainé’s blades sawed. Terrible cracking and squelching noises whipped by.

As they hurtled down the way, running over scorpions and bashing aside wolves, _someone else_ was laughing with wild abandon. Nier and Kainé took pause and turned their focus back on the manic book as he shouted.

“BWAHAHA! FOOLISH CREATURES! TREMBLE BEFORE OUR MIGHT! I AM THE GREAT GRIMOIRE WEISS, _LORD OF THE SAND!_ ”

Kainé and Nier exchanged a glance.

“What?” Weiss noticed that.

Nier smirked, and thought he caught a stray grin from Kainé as she turned around again.

* * *

A massive wolf crested a ridge, furrows of darkness aching in the air in his wake. His shadow pelt shone with luminous streaks of yellow and white.

Roc’s eyes tracked the monsters as they screamed through the desert, riding as if upon an arrow loosed from a bow.

_What fresh hell hath these tormentors wrought—_

The party of three swung by, swerving to splatter a scorpion all over the rock wall he stood on.

He heard their mad laughter and shouts trail away as that disgusting papershade drove them on with his magic.

Some of the bug goo had splattered onto Roc. He fumed coils of steam as the gore evaporated from his boiling pelt.

_A surfboard?!_

The mighty shadebeast couldn’t contain his howl of rage.

_They attack us… with a SURFBOARD!?_

Did these humans know no decency? Roc could abide them dueling with the warriors of the pack, for then it was a contest of strength, the struggle of life—one on one, two on two, three on three.

But _this…?_ This cowardice could not go unpunished.

Roc descended, his form dripping down the rocks.

* * *

Nier caught sight of a rather large shadebeast, gesturing to it wildly. “That’s the shade wolf! The leader!”

“Let’s kill it!” Kainé yelled.

Weiss obliged their bloodlust, rounding the glider toward the shade wolf.

The shade growled, the sound reverberating uncannily, as if the earth were a drum. As the board ran up on it, the beast turned tail and fled.

“GET BACK HERE!” Kainé called after it.

They gave chase, following at speed. The dunes gave way to twisting canyons of stone, though sand was still beneath them.

The wolf slipped deeper into the canyons, between outcroppings of rocks, furrows of black in its wake like a trail of blood, leading the party onward in their hunt. It snaked between pillars of stone, sand kicking up from mighty paws. And though its movements were tricky, the sand-glider was never far behind.

A tunnel engulfed them where the way was narrow, but tantalizingly straight.

With an impressive burst of speed, Weiss closed the gap on the wolf and drew alongside it, bringing them into striking range.

Weiss crept the board over as they flew through the pillars of stone, narrowing the distance by edging the shadebeast closer to the wall.

Pinned between rock and rail, the wolf had nowhere to escape their blades. Time was short, however, as they were running out of even ground.

Kainé struck first, her wicked swords catching air as the wolf dodged with a ghastly weightlessness.

As it recovered from its dodge, Nier struck, but even though his jab should have connected, the wolf’s form shifted into a vapor. Darkness flashed by, and they blinked in shock as they watched the shadows dance over the caverns and pillars of stone overhead, slipping to the earth once more.

The stain of black materialized further ahead, slipping into obscurity.

“ _SHOW OFF!”_ Tyrann’s voice screeched in Kainé’s metaphorical ear.

“Where’d it go?” Nier sputtered.

Weiss guided the board further into the rocky field, beneath outcroppings of layered stone and through natural slaloms of spires.

“I fear we’ve lost it…”

Kainé leaned toward Nier. “Do you see it?”

Nier didn’t respond, squinting hard through the flying debris funneling around them.

“THERE!” Kainé’s shade-senses pinpointed through the chaos.

Weiss turned the nose of the board to where Kainé’s hand pointed.

Just as she’d said, the wolf stood up ahead, utterly motionless. Yellow eyes glistened luminous through the dusts circulating around, as if a challenge.

The glider hurtled toward it, and the warriors readied their blades.

“Get ready, Kainé!”

Ravening anticipation set in, each impatient for the glory of the strike. But before their weapons could meet shadeflesh, it… disappeared, carried off by the wind like fluttering snow.

“Wh-”

“AUGH!”

A canyon opened up below.

“ _THIS AIN’T GOOD.”_

They’d been had! By one of the most classic tricks in the book, no less…

The three sailed into the gorge ahead, free-falling. The board escaped out from under them. Open air spun around, no purchase on solid ground in sight, save the world coming up from below.

Weiss hastily wreathed them in darkness; embroiling both Kainé and Nier inside to cushion their descent.

More yet of the wicked teeth of the canyon awaited, and Weiss’ snap judgments hurled them aside before crags of sharp rock impaled them.

The board shattered over the crags, bright white shards raining down.

They were dumped into a run of gravelly stones at the base the cliff, magic unfurling as they rolled along the loose pack, hurtling to the canyon floor.

Dust followed their wakes, and they finally came to a rest, laying spread amidst the ruddy rocks.

The shards of the board scattered all around them, a poignant sign that they’d narrowly escaped a similar fate, if it hadn’t been for magic. The spell had saved their lives, as half-cast and jostling as it may have been.

“YOU IDIOTS!” Weiss cried out after them, but the sound wasn’t annoyed as it was grieved. “ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!”

Kainé coughed, opening her sand-blasted eyes and wincing. Her skin screamed at her and every inch of muscle and bone ached.

She didn’t even want to think about moving.

“Son of a…”

Nier groaned, rolling over into a heap. He exhaled, shuddering as new forms of pain wracked his body.

Yeah, they were gonna bruise… They were going to be _walking bruises_ , actually, with plenty of cuts and abrasions to spare.

Weiss flitted through the dust cloud, zipping over to them. He orbited around his companions, scanning them doubly for anything critical.

“Well, you both managed to keep all your limbs,” he observed, “do they still work?”

“I’m fine… I think.” Nier propped himself up, concern in his voice evident even through the coughs, “is Kainé OK?”

“I believe so.” Weiss went over to check on her again at the man’s request, looming curiously above her face.

_Tyrann taunted her, “aw, baby took a tumble. Is it too much? I can take over if y—”_

“Oh, fuck off,” Kainé growled at him, and her steeling will removed all purchase he had over her heart.

Weiss, however, took this ‘fuck off’ as an insult to himself.

“The hussy is just _fine_ , Nier,” he growled, receding from her with an eye roll, “ungrateful as ever…”

Kainé ground her teeth as she rolled up to sit, not sure if the pain or the grit in her eyes was making them tear up. Probably both.

Nier managed to scrape himself up onto all fours, attempting yet to summon the will to stand.

Kainé made a horrible sound as she floundered to her feet, the heels aiding her none as she found her balance.

She reached out to help Nier up but he stubbornly refused, so she grabbed him by a strap and yanked him up anyway.

He yelped and staggered beside her.

Both were streaked red by sand rash and the bloody scrapes they’d just acquired.

“You both look dreadful…” Weiss noted.

Kainé felt a primal urge to spit on him, but he did save Nier’s life, and even her own in a sense, so…

He was checking them out again, actually, prodding with an unseen force of magic.

Kainé jerked away as he jabbed near a nasty cut.

“Watch it!”

“Doesn’t seem like there’s any major damages. You are quite resilient, the two of you,” Weiss observed.

“Thanks for the save.” Nier nodded, still choking on the sand in his throat. “Feel like hell, though.”

Weiss hocked up some healing herbs from within his pages, smacking them both with a bundle in quick succession.

“OW!”

Weiss ordered with a threatening hint, “use that. Or I will.”

Nier whined, “OK, OK…”

The two of them bemoaned and complained about their wounds as they treated them, comparing their cuts and abrasions, seeing who had the worst ones.

Nier tried to point at a particularly bad friction burn on his back, but couldn’t quite due to his muscles.

Kainé laughed at him, and then showed him a slice on her arm before she applied a poultice.

His face screwed up at it.

“How much you wanna bet it’ll scar?” Kainé asked, grinning without realizing.

“Fifty-fifty, maybe?” Nier considered her question, absently wrapping a bandage around his wrist.

Weiss cleared his throat.

“Are you both done? Or do you wish to see my plethora of bent pages!” Weiss asked, “we can go over each one.”

Nier and Kainé exchanged glances, and gave him a look.

“Oh, here’s something to think about as you wrap up your wounded meat-bodies,” Weiss spoke, “how about NEVER doing this EVER again, hmm!?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Weiss,” Nier agreed, lightly touching his neck and checking for blood, to see if he missed a spot.

“Shit’s too expensive anyway,” Kainé grumbled as she made the final adjustments to the bandages around her leg.

“Mhm.” Nier nodded, satisfied with his work.

Weiss let out a sharp exhale, taking back the medical supplies and packing them away within himself.

“Holy shit…” Kainé got up and something popped in her back.

Weiss snatched the remaining supplies from her hands. “Would you stop saying that word!”

Kainé kept going, “well shit, Weiss, I was just—”

He cut her off, “ENOUGH!”

Nier turned to look at Weiss. “You know she’s just doing that to annoy the shit out of you.”

“YOU STOP THAT!” Weiss smacked Nier with a cover, continuing his assault as Nier dared to chuckle at him.

Nier drew his arms up, the angry book took out his aggression with a painfully harmless attack.

“Ow! I’m all bruised up, y’know,” he shoved Weiss away.

Kainé was going to be _sick_.

The three managed to crawl out of the dale they’d fallen into, reaching the canyon cliff sides winding back toward Nier’s village.

“Wow, we’re close,” Nier remarked.

“Lady Luck seems to favor us despite our actions this day,” Weiss mused.

Kainé spoke under her breath, “’bout time.”

As they moved the world grew greener, and vegetation began to spring up from the hard ground, congregating around the water that flowed down from the mountains they drew amidst.

A brook ran alongside the party, and they followed it as it snaked through the canyons towards the village.

Kainé skirted along the silty banks, the pace leisurely enough (thanks to their bruises) for her to watch the shimmering fish as they darted through the unusually clear waters.

An odd peace rested in these canyons. At least for now… for Kainé.

…were those songbirds she heard?

She twisted around, massaging her neck as it tweaked, but still determined to track the sound.

Birds still sang here?

She turned to say something to Nier, but the man was in a funk, head low, contemplative.

What’d gotten into him?

She let the thought go, minding her own business.

“Something is bothering you,” as if on cue, Weiss poked Nier, awaiting an explanation.

“…I didn’t get Yonah anything.” The man frowned, eyes darting around the ground. “I even told her in that letter I would.”

Weiss scoffed, unable to handle how pathetically sweet that was.

The book pondered the issue a moment, before asking, “do you think a human child would like marbles?”

Nier lit up. “Of course she would! Why didn’t I think of that?!”

“Perhaps it was because you were consumed by getting back here to see her?” Weiss pointed out.

“Yeah…” Nier relented, “guess so.”

“Here, put your hands up. Take them.” Weiss hovered in front of Nier, forcing him to stop. He opened himself, flipping through his pages.

“Wait, you got the marbles? But—” Nier started.

“ _You_ should gift them to her,” Weiss explained, “she’s your daughter.”

Nier couldn’t argue with that, and cupped his palms up toward Weiss. From the book’s pages the runic symbols within formed to words, and these words shimmered as they emerged from his pages, coiling into pearls of glass. Nier watched intently as each marble was brought back into reality, each of a differing hue, their number streaming into his hands.

Nier weighed the marbles as Weiss finished, face softening. “…thanks, Weiss.”

“A better way to thank me would be to use my full and proper name!” Weiss snapped shut and faced the man.

Nier skewed his lips, dumping the marbles into a pocket. “Just had to ruin the moment, didn’t ya?”

Weiss smirked back at him.

“Can we PLEASE keep moving?” Kainé walked past, absolutely disgusted.

Nier followed her, wondering aloud, “that bothered you?”

“It’s nothing, we just need to keep moving,” Kainé tried to brush it all off while Tyrann’s snickers grew.

“Oh! I see, I see,” Weiss’ elderly tone somehow magnified as he asked, “would you like a marble, Kainé?”

She shot a murderous glare at the book floating beside her, stopping him dead.

Weiss floated back to Nier’s side, and whispered to him, obviously thinking Kainé wasn’t within earshot.

“See? _This_ is why I don’t jest with her.”

“Knock it off,” Nier whispered back, somehow even worse at concealing his voice than Weiss, “just keep trying. I think she’s warming up to us.”

Weiss sharply exhaled. “Ever the optimist…”

“ _You sure know how to pick ‘em, Sunshine,_ ” Tyrann mocked.

“Shut up, Tyrann.”

The canyon began to encroach on them, trees and their twisting roots providing shady refuge for all manner of weed and herb.

Nier’s village was close. Before long, the eastern gate came into view.

“Later.”

Nier and Weiss turned toward Kainé, questions and offers already forming.

“I’m not going in, so drop it,” she informed the two, retaining her cool, “I’m going hunting. I’m starving.”

“We have food, Kainé, you—” Nier was cut off.

“Don’t worry about me, old man. I’ll be back before you know it.” She took her leave, scaling up a rock wall with frightening ease and disappearing into the tree line beyond.

Nier shook his head, turning back toward the gates. “I know she’s half shade, but…”

“It is probably for the best,” Weiss remarked.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t think so,” Nier disagreed sternly.

“I said ‘ _probably’_ didn’t I!?” Weiss got a little snappy.

Nier donned a scowl and hailed the guards attending the gate.

The old oaken doors groaned as they were drawn ajar so that the two could enter. The guards offered their greetings, but gave the man and book a healthy berth after seeing the looks on their faces.

The two of them crossed the village valley with little event, drawing near their home as it stood lonely at the edge of town. The crumbling walls surrounding it were overrun by new growth as the seasons changed, each fresh root leeching further into the cracks.

Weiss zipped ahead, checking the mailbox outside for letters from Yonah. He extracted one, passing it over to Nier with the tiniest of dark hands.

The man’s scowl eased as he opened the envelope, unfolding the letter. He read it over as he walked up to the door.

The letter was passed back to Weiss for safe storage, the document itself becoming a code within his pages.

Nier stepped across the creaky threshold, inclining his ear to the door. He could hear sounds within, and instead of his usual firm push, he opened the door like a normal person, peeking inside.

Maroon curls glinted in the candlelight… Devola. She was downstairs, cleaning up after a meal, apparently, and had turned a curious glance to the door.

“Hey, there,” she greeted him, her voice cool and bright.

Nier nodded to her and stepped inside, Weiss hovering over his head and into the room before him.

“Whoa!” She leaned back with surprise, looking Nier up and down as he came into the light. From ragged bandage to friction burn to the liberal coating of sand that looked to be embedded in his skin he was a sight to behold. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah, just took a tumble…” he played it down.

Devola wanted to wince for him. “You guys are back soon.”

“Yeah, we are.” Nier stowed his weapons.

Weiss flitted over, hanging beside her head as he silently critiqued her cleaning.

“How’s Yonah?” Nier asked.

Devola answered, “she’s upstairs now, resting. Fed and bathed… all that jazz.”

“Thank you, Devola,” Nier was ever so sincere.

“Don’t mention it,” she replied. “So, how did you two even get back here that fast? Does the great Grimoire Weiss have a portal spell up his sleeve?” her voice bit sarcastically.

“No. And I don’t have sleeves,” Weiss informed her, “rather, we experimented with a new mode of transit. One by way of board.”

Now that she looked, even Weiss was covered in a film of dust, sand caked into his decorative grooves.

“Board? That sounds adventurous,” Devola remarked.

“Oh yeah, it was an adventure, alright.” Nier scouted around for anything he could do to help Devola as he spoke, “too bad it kinda failed. It did get us here a lot quicker than walking.”

“What did you do?” Devola quirked a brow.

“Sand-gliding,” Nier answered simply.

She pursed her lips. “Sand… _gliding_?”

“We took a board out and skidded down the sands,” Nier explained, even illustrating with animated hand gestures.

“Wait… really?!” she sounded surprised, “you guys went sandboarding?”

“Of course we did!” Weiss did not reserve his annoyance.

“Was it fun?” she asked, continuing to clean.

Nier scratched at his face absently. “We nearly died...”

“So… fun, right?” She bobbed her head.

Nier chuckled at that as he helped put things away with her. Weiss offered no aid, only groaning in disapproval.

“Sounds like someone didn’t have fun,” Devola observed.

Nier mentioned, “oh, the _Lord of the Sand_ had fun, alright. He’s just being surly because we broke our new toy and he can’t have more blood to-go.”

“I never said that,” Weiss grumped, “ _any_ of that.”

“It’s OK to be upset, Weiss,” Nier teased.

“Would you!?”

Devola let out a long sigh, glancing back at the two.

“Yonah’s been in bed for a little while now,” she brought up strategically, “I don’t think it’d be a bad idea to wake her up in a little bit.”

“Want us out of you hair, mmm?” Weiss was perceptive.

“Maaaybe,” she responded with humor. “And Yonah needs to get up every once in a while. Don’t want her to set up with something.”

“Why don’t we knock this out, and then you can go home and rest?” Nier offered to help, but he didn’t quite see how road-worn he himself was.

“Yeah. No.” Devola nixed that plan quick. “I got this. You go wash up. You look like you rolled through the desert to get here.”

“Er…” That wasn’t untrue.

“You’re home.” Devola gave the man a pointed look. “Act like it, maybe?”

Nier scowled at that, stubborn as usual. He did feel like crap, but he had principles. This was _his_ house. Devola wasn’t supposed to be responsible for it when he was there. She had a whole village to worry about.

The man just stood there, slightly miffed. Devola wanted to roll her eyes.

“Go be papa,” she told him.

“Don’t call me that.”

“OK…Go be _dada_.” Devola smiled cheekily.

Nier gave her well-humored _look_ , and she giggled.

“But seriously, I mean it, Nier,” a touch of a warning tone came into play.

“Alright, alright.” Nier relented finally. “Uh, thanks, Devola.”

He dipped his head graciously, and Weiss floated up behind him, impatiently nudging him along, all too ready for bath time.

By the time they both had cleaned off, Devola had already left. Weiss remained downstairs to ‘fix’ what Devola had ‘messed up’, while Nier made his way upstairs.

Yonah was snoozing, round pale face angled awkwardly as she had fallen asleep, a book tented over her chest where she’d let it fall.

Nier cautiously crept into the room, so as to not startle her. But of course his shoulder brushed against a shelf and knocked a flowerpot over, making a racket. He fumbled with it, trying to keep it from hitting the floor and shattering.

Yonah started, glancing around with wide-eyes, but when she caught sight of him she practically shouted for joy.

“DAD!” Yonah was already swinging her legs out of bed, hitting the ground and pattering over to him.

Nier shoved the flowerpot back onto its shelf and rushed forward, stooping down to catch her as she came.

“Careful, Yonah!” he warned as she latched on, using all her weight to try and bring him down.

“You’re back!” she said, quite loudly, directly by his ear.

Nier grimaced. “Yeah, I am.”

He wrapped his aching arms around her, marveling a fleeting moment at how fragile and willful her small form was.

“…way early,” Yonah’s voice was lower, scratchier.

“Uh-huh.”

He let go and appraised her.

“What’ve you been up to?” he asked as he ran a hand over her mussed hair to straighten it out, noticing her bonnet was long gone.

“Just reading…” she mentioned wistfully.

Yonah reciprocated by playing with the ends of his long, light hair as it draped over his shoulders.

“Devola sang something to me,” she said, “it was really pretty but… I think she might be sad.”

“Devola? Sad? Nah.” Nier picked her up and walked over toward her desk. He was really starting to feel stiff from all the day’s ordeal. It was a little impressive he was still up, honestly.

As he set her down, Yonah’s hand brushed a nasty scrape across his arm.

“Oh,” she remarked, “are you hurt?”

“Huh, that?” Nier noted the mark. It wept a little, but thankfully there was no blood. Apparently this one had escaped Weiss’ treatment when they’d cleaned up together.

“It’s nothing,” he passed it off, sitting down near her on the edge of her bed.

“You got it in a fight, didn’t you?” Yonah pouted, crossing her arms at him.

“Actually, no,” Nier found it strange, being able to tell the truth, “Kainé, Weiss, and I went sandboarding for the first time today.”

“Was it fun?” Yonah was intrigued.

“Yeah.” It was nice to be able to tell the truth. “It was.”

He described the wind rushing by, the sand, the sun; the thrill. All the extreme violence he left out, along with him puking his guts up.

“Even Kainé and Weiss stopped arguing for a while,” he remarked, “it was good.”

As he reflected on it, this was the first time he’d really heard Kainé's laugh. She did laugh, but usually it was pretty creepy or humorless, and heard only amidst the stench of a shade slaughter. This was the first giddy laugh they’d gotten out of her.

A smile crept up his face as he continued to explain the events to his daughter.

“It’s extremely dangerous, though! We crashed, and only because of Weiss, we didn’t get hurt too bad. So, don’t go trying anything, OK?” He was trying to take more care of what he said ever since the Lunar Tear Incident.

“I know…” Yonah sounded so patronized. “It’s not like I have one of those water-glider thingies anyway…”

Her gaze lingered over her desk as she leaned into it, settling on a very pretty picture of ivory and blue.

“Oh! I got your letters!” she announced, “both of them!”

“Oh, yeah,” Nier recalled. “We _both_ sent you letters, didn’t we?”

“Yeah. I got one from you and one from Weissey.” She held up a couple red envelopes, shoving one into his face. “Look how he spells his name. It’s so weird!”

“It is,” Nier agreed.

“I liked the picture, though,” she remarked, gesturing to the card with a etched image of the dunes around Facade. “How’d he make this?” she wondered at the picture Weiss had inscribed for her of this moment of time.

“Is Weiss here?” Yonah asked after the book.

“Of course. He’s downstairs.”

“Can I see him?” she requested, “please?”

“Yeah, sure.” Nier turned away from her and shouted, loud enough for the old book to hear, “WEISS! COME UP HERE!”

There was a lag, and then a tome peeked up over the landing, only a touch startled.

“Yes? What is i—” Weiss stopped short as a little girl pointed at him.

“WEISSEY!”

He froze.

She threw her arms up, beckoning him for a hug. Nier jerked his head, as if to tell him ‘ _come on’_.

Weiss floated forwards hesitantly. When he was just barely in range, Yonah scooped him into an embrace, one so tight he actually winced.

Nier smiled at the display.

“G-good to see you, Miss Yonah,” Weiss said as he withdrew. He still wasn’t sure about this whole _hugging_ business.

Nier chuckled and then remembered something, pulling the marbles out of his pockets.

The curious clattering tickled Yonah’s ears and she fixed her eyes on the marbles.

“Oooooh! You got marbles!”

Nier made an indent in the bedding and laid them out for her to see. She came beside the bed, leaning in and picked through them, clacking them about for fun.

“They’re so pretty!” she gushed.

Weiss couldn’t help but exude an aura of pride as he hovered over her shoulder.

She picked one of the bigger marbles up, holding it up to a candle’s flame to see through it. “Why’s this one so big?”

“Ah, because that is a taw,” Weiss naturally accentuated the word.

“A what?” She squinted at him.

“A taw, a weaponized marble used to strike lesser marbles from the ring!” he clarified, ever annoyed.

Yonah’s gaze flitted as she pondered this. “…like in a game?”

“Yes!” Weiss answered, adding under his breath, “what else would it be?”

“Teach me!” she practically demanded, though she was so cute it was hard to say no.

“Er…”

“That’s a great idea.” Nier turned a pleasant face to Weiss.

The book was cornered.

“Alright, fine.” Weiss obliged with an absence of enthusiasm despite Yonah clapping happily. “Let’s see. The floor here will do for the ring…”

“A ring?” the girl wondered.

“To put the marbles in! A string or some such should suffice.” Weiss flitted around, searching. He took pause however, and shook himself wearily. “Oh, what am I doing? Here.”

The Grimoire opened himself and cast a round and _unholy_ ring pattern upon the floor, black whorls of cryptic runes overlaying red, ebbing radiance.

Nier stood back, beholding this… development.

“Weiss, this looks like a summoning circle.”

“Oh, don’t be stupid. Those are the wrong words entirely,” Weiss snapped at him, “besides, how are we supposed to play ring-taw without a ring?”

Nier held up his hands, shrugging.

Weiss forced the both of them to pick out six marbles for their ‘teams’. Yonah wouldn’t take all her favorite marbles, so Nier figured out what Yonah liked most first through some rather clever questions, and picked what she didn’t mention.

“Now, put your marbles in the ring,” Weiss said, they knelt down to the extremely cursed pattern on the floor and deposited the marbles in the circle, each threatening to roll away until they stabilized them.

“Are we doing marble magic?!” Yonah inquired

“N—”

She gasped. “Oh my gosh, is this voodoo!?”

“NO.”

“Oh.”

Weiss carried on, explaining exhaustively in unnecessarily intricate detail the manner of marble ordering. Nier was fighting sleep, but Yonah was eager as ever, arranging each glass orb with the utmost care.

“Now that we have our ducks in a row, we’ll need taws,” he rolled a larger marble over to Nier as he spoke, “are you familiar with knuckling down?”

Yonah and Nier scrunched their faces up at Weiss, mirror images.

“Really, Nier?” Weiss seemed surprised.

He shrugged. “I dunno, we usually kicked ‘em when I was young.”

“Kick?! How do you kick a marble?”

“…with your foot?” Nier shrugged.

Weiss grumbled, “I forget where I am sometimes…”

After rules and form and technique were explained in yet more excruciating detail by the book, they began their game.

The game was literally taking a big marble and knocking out the little marbles from the center of a ring. Nier was in awe of how Weiss had somehow convoluted this impossibly simple game.

He couldn’t complain, though. Yonah was having a wonderful time with it.

Nier was thankful Weiss had energy, for once. He was about to pass out, but he tried to hang on, for just a little while longer. Yonah was perkier than she had been in a long time.

That pain medicine really did wonders, didn’t it?

Nier laid down on his stomach (a position which hurt the least, somehow), resting his face on crossed arms. He eyed the glass marbles as Yonah and Weiss took their turns, their translucence and sounds very satisfying, now that he really looked.

“It’s your turn, Dad!” Yonah tried to wrap her hand around his wrist as she jostled his arm.

He grunted and got up a little, firing off a shot and wildly missing.

Weiss tilted to a side. “Are you even trying?!”

Nier looked at Yonah as she idly rattled her taw in her clasped hands.

Her face. It had changed.

The way her nose sloped was looking more like—Yonah looked more like her mother now.

Could his daughter really change so much in so little time…?

A marble shot out of the ring, sent on its way by Yonah’s well-placed shot. She claimed another point, bragging on herself. Weiss warned her about the pitfalls of pride as he used his cover to slap a marble into the ring, claiming a point for himself and accepting the victory ‘graciously’ by congratulating himself with ‘sportsman-like conduct’.

Yonah poked Weiss.

Nier’s eyes fluttered closed, and he decided to rest them for a moment.

It was so peaceful here… at the house. And he was missing it.

All this precious time was slipping away…

Nier couldn’t keep up. All the things he had to do, things he thought he should do, they all split and ran, escaping his reach. All his problems, like the marbles as they clattered and rolled erratically across the grou—

A marble hit him in the face.

“Ow.”

He blinked fully awake and lifted his head, scrutinizing his daughter and the book across from him.

“He did it.”

“She did it.”

They said this in unison.

Nier chuckled. Just what he needed…

“I see how it is…” He got back up onto his knees. “I let my guard down and you guys try to take me out.”

Weiss played along, “marbles are a cutthroat business.”

Yonah giggled, wiggling about. “You weren’t paying attention!”

“Yeah… I wasn’t giving it my all, was I?” Nier admitted, “it’s my turn, right?”

“It has been for some time now,” Weiss informed him.

Nier put some effort into learning what the Grimoire meant by ‘knuckling down’ and managed to send off a decent shot, even if his eyes were pretty blurry.

Yonah’s interest renewed when she sensed competition as Weiss and Nier jockeyed for 2nd place.

The three continued their game, Yonah’s score suspiciously soaring above theirs.

However, when her cough first showed itself, Nier was quick to put her to bed. Weiss dispelled the ring with a flourish of his pages and gathered up the marble mess, depositing them all in a spare flower pot before he floated down the stairs to leave the two in peace.

The Grimoire took up residence on his shelf, nudging his pillow-bed into position before he produced the handsome scrap of quilt he called a blanket from his pages. He waited on Nier before he shut down, an exercise in patience, yet it was one the tome would dutifully endure.

Eventually the weary man slunk down the stairs, turning in for his rest. As he settled down, he inclined himself so he could see Weiss on the shelf beside him.

“Hey,” he said, low and quiet, “we gotta do this more often.”

“Hm?”

“You know, be able to just… come back here quick.”

“Yes, that does sound like a good idea,” Weiss agreed softly.

He awaited sleep to grace his partner, but it was slow coming this evening.

Nier was silent, but wakeful, eyes listing over the ceiling above.

“I like seeing her face.”

Weiss could hear something tender in his voice. The old book wondered if there really was a way for him to devise a portal spell. Perhaps some new Sealed Verse? He racked his mind on where they could find yet another big shade to kill…

“Hey,” Nier said to Weiss, rousing him from his ruminations, “write this down: _investigate how to use boar tusk_.”

Weiss paused halfway through the transcription.

“…oh dear.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my favorite fics I've ever written. I learned so much as I edited and drafted this monster of a oneshot, and I think it was worth all the work. It was so much fun writing the dialogue and crafting the jokes in this, while also cultivating space for moments of sincerity. (S/O to my beta for being patient with this one as I sent a million versions of scenes/gags their way.)  
> Please tell me what you thought! Or if any jokes or moments jumped out at you! And as always, thanks for reading. <3


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